if you put a frog in boiling water, it will jump out.
if you put a frog in warm water and gradually turn up the heat until the water is boiling, the frog will remain there until it dies.
and that is an abusive relationship.
"When a relationship is over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower."
"Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way."